Ever have a day where your perception of the world completely lacks coherence? When all the people, all their hustle and bustle sound like the too loud volume of someone else’s iPod on the bus?
Everyone and everything melds in and out of clarity, like someone turned off the normal flux of reality… or switched life to one of the snowy channels? Even when someone you know interrupts your aimless journey through the faceless, diluted massed, you only recognize them as though some distant, recurring dream? Like a memory half-formed, which you respond to in a voice not your own, when the auto-play button is switched on inside your head? Your head…detached, yet anchored despite itself to the rest of you, inevitably, but drifting further away from your shore of consciousness than it’s ever been… It’s an orange buoy, a dot on a foggy horizon of slow, uneven waters… tussled in the lazy automatisms of reality’s fuzzy wavelengths. Everything’s faded, pointless, yet ongoing, like a carnival ride of no passengers… and you just know that it should all stop, because it’s not going anywhere. A running engine without a frame or purpose, a clock without the occurrence of time, such things just shouldn’t be, and the staggering realization of it instead makes you stop, to contemplate it in its glorious uselessness. But it doesn’t bother you. Somehow, it’s supposed to be that way, and you feel nor sadness or confusion at the diffusion of logic surrounding you… And in fact, you feel nothing at all really, except what might be felt by a faulty bolt, whose bicycle has kept cycling on without it, after it has fallen to the ground. And like the bolt, though you’ve never felt so alone and useless, you don’t feel sad, because all at once, you’ve never felt so free, either. Though now, you’ve no one who could possibly understand that, to share your sentiments with.
Have you ever had a day when everything made sense, and didn’t, all at once?
