The Real Thing

“I do know that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”
[Runaway Bride]

“I love that you get cold when it’s seventy degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you’re looking at me like I’m nuts. I love that after I spend a day with you I can still smell your perfume on my clothes, and I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night.”
[When Harry Met Sally]

“I think I’d miss you even if we’d never met.” [The Wedding Date]

“You had me at hello.” [Jerry Maguire]

These are all lines from a genre of film I affectionately refer to as… Chick Porn. Why chick porn? Well, when put into context of how we, as women, view “regular porn, ” as unrealistic portrayals of a man’s idealistic view of a woman, it’s exactly the same. Chick Porn is a woman’s unrealistic view of an idealized man. We watch these movies (currently Runaway Bride is playing on my TV) and develop these subconscious expectations of our boyfriends, husbands, or future spouses. When life is less glamorous than breakfast at Tiffany’s, we blame the guy, when really we bring this upon ourselves. I’m not implying we should all swear off romantic comedies and dramas (obviously, I’m watching one even now), but I do think that we should be aware of how they affect us. I know for some friends, this means that they literally cannot watch movies that make them lust after a fictional scenario and for others it means bringing the knowledge of reality to the forefront of their minds and not holding anyone accountable to ridiculous expectations.

Life is not a movie, much to my dismay. You don’t always meet your soul-mate dancing in the rain or on the observation deck of the Empire State Building, but who wants to be in love with a story? The real thing is better.



  1. I liked how you put it. That’s why I’m avoiding these kind of movies these days, until I learn that real thing is better 🙂

    • The real thing when it does find us is … absolutely fantastic.

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