If I had found more ways to love you, maybe these nights wouldn’t be so cold, and I wouldn’t be walking around these suffocating streets with my insides out.

But the strings that tied us together got old. They frayed like children’s shoelaces. We hung precariously — you swinging your feet as if the fall wouldn’t kill you, as if you were gazing out to sea alone. Me holding my breath, trying not to move, trying to keep it together.

If I could just keep this together.

Everyone has a reason for getting up, for doing it all again.

I wish I could have been your reason for getting up.



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