Love Found

Over the past year I’ve been too stubborn, afraid of getting hurt, and unwilling to take chances. Funny how life throws a curve ball your way and it changes everything.

The idea of opening my heart to another was terrifying but after a year I was finally ready to the take on the challenge, realising the unlimited possibilites that would come from sharing my life with someone … someone who loved me back.

What I Fear

I’ve spent my life feeling like someone who was on the move. An itch would get under my skin and inflame the hairs up and down my arms, tingling through the back of my neck. Little imperfections in my environment would become huge gaping holes propelling me to go, to move, to change for the sake of change. I always – always – saw an ending for me that was somewhere alone. It’s cheesy but true – my ending in my mind was always me, living alone, with a couple of cats. I wasn’t afraid of commitment … I was afraid of abandonment. Love to me was always something you left before it left you. End of story.

But my story has changed now. Life has changed that for me. Love has changed that for me.

Life is an open question now, one that I stare at a great deal – surprised that I get to have a life I never thought I would, never thought I could. Every single day is a surprise because nothing is the way I once suspected it would be.

Right now it’s about determining how to let go of how I always saw the end and allowing life to take me where I’m meant to be. With who I’m meant to be with.

That Kind of Man

Every girl needs a man … the kind that will treat you right as well as others; the kind that has respect for himself, family & others. The kind that searches for you with his heart; the kind that can be trusted alone with a room full of many other beautiful ladies; the kind that will never cheat on you cause he knows he’s got all he wants and needs already. The kind of man that wants to be your friend. The kind that doesn’t mind calling you early in the morning to say good morning and late at night to say good night; the kind that will do anything for you, even if it’s just to buy your favourite kind of candy. One that calls you just to tell you that he loves you and misses you a lot. The kind that appreciates you for the things you do for him, even if they’re little. The kind that is willing to wait for you when you’re falling behind, the kind that will actually open the door for you, take you out on dates once in a while and buy you flowers cause it’s a Wednesday. The kind that reminds you that he loves you and that he’s happy with you in case you forget, the kind that just doesn’t want kisses but hugs too. The kind that calls you “beautiful” sometimes not just “hot.” The kind that kisses your forehead when you’re down, the kind that will go through thick & thin for and with you.

The kind that just loves you just for who you are.

– Source Unknown

Boundaries

“At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out – they fence you in.

So, you can waste your life drawing lines OR you can live your life by crossing them.”

– Source Unknown

Love With No Fear

I wish I had my innocence back so I could love with no fear, fully and deeply…

… like I had never been hurt.

After All That

“I understand feelings as small and insignificantly as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or new clothes you get – you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the heck for that brief moment you could think you were happy. Sometimes you even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at the door.

 And then after that, however long all that maybe, you’ll go somewhere new and you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back.”

– Source Unknown

The Beginning

I am ready to fill the holes in my photo albums with someone new.