Weary

In the past three weeks I have flown 9579 miles for work. By the end of next week I will add another 4123 miles. Weary I am … weary of hotels, weary of living from a suitcase and weary from dining out. Travel for work is not nearly as fun as a vacation. Not fun at all.

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We Keep Going

There are a lot of things you’ve been learning about life.

This is what you do, you’re a ball of tape that rolls and bounces and picks it all up as you go, and from time to time you check the adhesive to see what’s on you, how it all adds up. Recent stock-taking would have you happy as you see what’s settled on the surface. Friends. Security. Hope. Your recent liking of avocados. Amazing stuff really.

But sometimes the floor falls out from under you and you are not prepared enough to handle some of what comes your way.

It’s just the way it is. But, you keep going because that’s what you always do and that’s the only choice that you have. 

Ket To My Heart

Do you remember what I was like when we first met? I’d built walls around my heart, gated them, and thrown away the key. I had been hurt, I told you from the beginning. I’d been used, tricked, played with, but most of all, hurt. I thought it best to never fall in love again. So I locked my heart.

You figured it out quite soon. I said don’t fall in love with me. I cannot fall in love with you. I won’t. I’m too hurt, too damaged, and too afraid to go through all of this once more. I’d decided love was just a scam. So we became friends, and that was okay with me, and with you. And it was all nice and comforting and I let myself trust you.

You would listen to me for hours, as we talked about everything and nothing. You learned why I wasn’t willing to let anyone love me, and though you said you would never do that kind of thing to me, I wasn’t ready to trust you to test it out. I kept my walls intact even when I started remembering where I’d thrown the key. It was the only way to keep myself from falling in love.

But then something happened. I woke up weeks later and realised that I loved you. And you said you loved me, and you promised not to hurt me. I believed you. I still didn’t realize how I’d come to love you, how you came to find the key to my heart.

Now I know. You didn’t find the key. You broke into my heart, and I let you.

Circumstances

“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.”

-Lemony Snicket

L-I-F-E

If you have visited here recently you know I went on a three-week vacation to the Western part of Canada. I fell in love with the west, what the locals call Big Sky Country.

I have decided to move West.

Actually, I’ve talked about moving to  a big city since the day I could legally drive. Fate was now directly in my hands, and I could go wherever the road led.

Then things happened. Like school and a career. And life. And so for a variety of reasons, I’ve never left my little province on the East coast.

With everything that has happened in the past year I feel like my life is primed for change. I could just sit here thinking about it for the rest of my life OR I could just get up and do it.

Honestly, I don’t like moving at all. In fact, I hate it. Statistically speaking, moving is one of the most stressful life experiences most people can have, falling somewhere after death and taxes on the list of ‘Things People Really Would Like To Avoid’.

But, here I am, moving to a new Province, on the other side of this vast country, where I really don’t know the area or any of the people except a cousin and a couple of friends. I will be jobless when I arrive and that will certainly add a fair bit of stress.

It’s a scary experience but also exciting too. I read a quote somewhere (where, I am not exactly sure … someone else’s blog? An email? A motivational poster?), it said:

 Adventure is a 4-letter word spelled L-I-F-E.

I am ready for my life’s adventure. I haven’t started packing yet, but I am pretty sure it will be done by the time I have to move all of my stuff.

Western Canada I hear you calling and I am coming to you … are you ready for me?

My Vacation

 

I’m back from three terrific weeks in Western Canada.

On the map I’ve starred the major places I visited although there were many places in between. Starting at the top:

 Fort McMurray

Athabasca

Edmonton

Hinton

Jasper

Lake Louise

Banff

Calgary

Let me tell you if you have never seen the Rocky Mountains it is something you should plan to do at some point in your life. It really makes you feel like a little speck on this planet of ours. The scenery alone makes it worth the drive. The rugged terrain is awe-inspiring and travelling through the Rockies makes for a pretty spectacular trip.

One of my first glimpses of the Rocky Mountains. They are breath-taking!

 View of the Victoria Cross Range from the Upper Summit Station at The Whislters in Jasper, 2277M (6831ft).

Athabasca Galcier, Icefields Parkway between Jasper and Banff. The road through here lies at approximately 2200M (6600ft) and Mt. Athabacsa on the right is 3833M (11,500ft).

You can see the devastion to the lanscapse caused by the weight of the glacier.

I actually stood on the toe of the Athabasca Glacier. I was lucky to witness three avalanches when the 80-100M rim of snow/ice fell about 333M (1000 ft.) I never realised just how loud an avalance is … like a sonic boom.

Sunwapta Falls still not raging with melt water.

Lake Lousie in the center of mountains, all around 3000M (10,000ft). Hard to believe people used to vacation here when there were no cars, just trains & wagons.

I saw so many big horn sheep along the sides of the road and up the hills.  On this trip I also saw a 1 bald eagle, 1 grey wolf, 1 black bear, 1 yellow-headed black bird, several elk, several birds called magpies, several ravens, 1 hawk and several variety of squirrels.

View from The Upper Summit Station, Sulphur Mountain, Banff; located 2281M (7,486ft) above sea level.

This squirrel looks like the chipmunks found in New Brunswick except it is at least twice as big as a chipmunk. He was a friendly little guy, following me around and posing.

These are but a few of my photos and shunk to fit here just doesn’t do any of them justice.

The Heart Grows

“I think your heart grows back bigger, ya know, once you get the shit beat out of you, and the universe lets your heart expand that way ‘cause that’s the function of all this pain and heartache that you go through, and you gotta go through that to come out to a better place.”

– Must Love Dogs